I know, I’ve been MIA for a while. And, now as a complete cop-out, I’m going to answer some questions from everybody’s favorite aunt, Becky.
1) Dave and I have a long-standing feud over cheese in a can. He thinks it’s food of The Gods while I think it’s probably Of The Devil. Your take?
–Dave is wrong, it’s not even real cheese. That’s why they are required to call it cheese product. The only “food” that belongs in an arousal can is whipped cream.
2) Is there any way you can think of to make the elder Gosselins go away? I AM ALL EARS.
–Stop caring about them. No more watching their show or buying magazines with them on the cover. Hopefully they’ll go the way of Vanilla Ice.
3) Who is your ridiculous “I can’t admit this to anyone in polite company lest I be banned from life” crush?
–Keanu Reeves, ever since I was introduced to his lack of acting skills in Bill and Ted.
4) If you could fuck it all and pursue your dream (assuming, of course, you were going to be GOOD at it), what would that dream be?
–When I was younger, I wanted to be in a singing group (think Wilson-Philips). Too bad I am completely tone-deaf.
5) They say “living well is the best revenge.” I think they are wrong. Do you?
–revenge on who?
6) What is the most humiliation you’ve experienced in public that you’d be willing to admit to The Internet?
–other than the time my mother told everyone I wanted to get a bra, it would have to be the time I passed out in computer class because of an illegal substance (which is a post for another day).
7) Are you honest with The Internet? Like, if I came over to your house tonight (heh)(I’m coming over, yo)(heh) would I be surprised at who I found?
–For the most part, yes. There are some things that I fudge, but I think we all do that.
8 ) If you could have one talent that you don’t currently possess, what would it be?
–That whole singing thing. I’d love to not be banned from singing my child to sleep.
9) There’s not always room for Jello. Is there?
–God, no. In my life there is never room for jello.
10) What’s your guiltiest of the guilty pleasures?
–that would be my cancer sticks. The only time I’ve successfully given them up was when I was pregnant, and that didn’t even last a month after Nate was born.