Posted by: bourbonmama | 07/01/2009

Way Back Wednesday #3

I know, I’ve been neglectful of my little blog, and all 4 of you out there reading! I could bore you with stories of a spoiled little grandson at Christmas, or my week long battle with the phone company, but no one wants to read that crap. So, instead, I will tell you a tale from my checkered past.  This should be playing in the background.* (also, this is probably not acceptable music in your work environment)

This Wednesday takes us back to not that long ago. It was around ’04-’05. Philip and I were living in this tiny little 100 year old house on a farm, barely inside the city limits. My trusty old Buick had broken down on me recently, and Philip’s Thunderbird was parked in our driveway, as it usually is 6 months out of the year. No worries, we had the Honda (although it wasn’t anywhere near as nice as the one in those pics). Philip and a friend had lovingly restored, and then souped up, this car. Then Philip bought it from said friend. A couple months later, another friend gave Philip another Honda to use as a parts car. If you knew me at the time, I’m sure you remember the fact that there were 3 times as many non-working vehicles in my driveway than there were working ones. I am classy, let me tell ya!

Anyway, so we took the Honda to a friends house. It had a head light out, so we had to use the brights, but you had to remember to turn the brights on. So we hung out with our friends for a while, smoked some pot cigars. Then went on our way. These friends didn’t live on the nicest side of town. Cops were plentiful. Right as we pulled on to the main road, I reminded Philip to turn on the brights, he told me he’d wait until these cars passed. Then we passed someone pulled over by two cops. Shit. The second cop pulls out behind us and flips his lights on. Damn it.

We’re on a major road, so the cop has to communicate with Philip through my window, with me passing things back and forth. The cop takes his licence, registration, and insurance, looks at it. Philip tells him how the headlight had just gone out the day before and he hadn’t been able to fix it yet. He hands me the insurance card and registration and says, “Ya’ll stay there,” and walks back to his car. Philip started the car.
“What are you doing?”
“What? He told us to go home and stay there.” He pulls out into traffic.
“No, he still has your licence.”
“No, he gave it back to you.”
“No, I have the insurance and registration.”
“If he still had my licence, he’d be chasing us.” Right on cue, sirens and flashing red and blue lights are behind us. “Ohh FUCK!” He pulls back over. There are now 4 cop cars and about 6 officers. They come running out of their cars, gun drawn, screaming, “Get out of the car! Get out of the car!” I start to open the door, “No, you passenger, stay in the car!” I close the door. Shit the pot’s it’s in my purse, it’s in me purse. Philip is to my right hands up in the air, “I thought you told me to go home, I am a fucking idiot, I am so sorry…” I take it out of my purse and stuff it under Philip’s seat. I look out the window, no handcuffs, yet. I’m sweating bullets at this point. I want a cigarette so badly, but am afraid I’ll get in trouble if I light one. Then, one of them comes up to me, “Is that your boyfriend?”
“Uhh, yeah.”
“Has he been drinking tonight?”
Stupid question, like I’m gonna say yes. “No.”
He leaves and laughs at Philip for being a jack ass. The original cop tells Philip that he was going to let him go, but now that he’s caused all this commotion, he’s going to have to give him a ticket for the missing headlight. All the other cops are laughing, and joking at Philip’s expense.
Philip gets in the car and pulls off.

We had accidentally ran from the cops. And, we had gotten away with it, kinda. I smoked two cigarettes on the way home, Philip even smokes one. All for a busted headlight. 

*did you hear the part about running from the cops!



  1. Douche. I’d let ya go but you had to get my buddies involved and now I gotta save face and write you a ticket. To hell with that. Fuckers congregate on New Circle and shoot the shit. Hate cops.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: