Posted by: bourbonmama | 21/02/2009

We’re Having A Girl!

*How many of you just crapped your pants?*

No, not we as in me and Philip, we as in me and my friend Dana. And this time, it’s so much more awesome, because I can drink and smoke (shut up, I know it’s killing me) and I get a little girl to dress up and buy tea sets and be her cool Aunt Caroline! I finally get to give in to the urge to buy frilly little dresses and red sparkly shoes! I am going shopping today–Yeah! And taking the mother along with me–that’s kinda more like a yeah.


So, I was in Wal-mart yesterday, and right after I put Nate in the cart, we saw a couple of friends. We stopped and talked for a while. We were standing at a display of left-over Valentine’s candy right in the middle of the entrance, so there were people walking all around us, which Nate LOVED. He loves to smile and coo and laugh at strangers. So, there’s this woman, late 30’s early 40’s, totally young enough to know better (there are some things you just have to excuse old people for doing because of their age), walks by and says, “Ohh, arn chu jus tha sweetess lilthang!” and taps Nate’s foot.

OK, we’ll let that one go, I’m used to it, my kid is adorable, I know. I look at her, expecting her to actually acknowledge me, but she never takes her eyes off my kid. I have no explanation for what happened next. I have no idea which planet this woman comes from where this is OK. She tugs a little on his pacifier handle and says, “Can I have that? You gonna givit ta me?”

I look at my friends in shock. We’re all staring at this crazy woman. “Uhh. NO. I don’t think he’s gonna let you have it.”

And before I could give her the verbal smack down I was compiling in my head, she pinched his cheek and walks away, never once making eye contact with me or the other two adults standing there.

Oh. My. God. How is that OK? I never had any problem with strangers wanting to touch me (unless it was a drunk guy in a bar, and that I know how to handle) until I got pregnant. I thought it would end when I had him. Apparently not. But, see, this is not some asshole trying to cop a feel, these are ladies (mostly old ones, at that) in the grocery store. It’s not like I can remedy the situation by being a bitch (which is totally how I would handle Drunky McGraberson).

So, I’ll just spell it out. There is absolutely no situation in which it is acceptable to touch a stranger, or a stranger’s child, unless you’re trying to save their life, and even then there are boundaries. I thought that this was common knowledge, but obviously some people did not get the memo. Here’s hoping they read my blog!


  1. YES. I crapped my pants. Love you too.

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