Posted by: bourbonmama | 29/07/2009

I dropped him off an hour ago.  I thought I’ be able to come home and clean, but no.  I’m just sitting here on the computer, trying to pretend like he’s taking a nap.  He did fine.  It was me that cried.  I waited till I got in my car.  He didn’t even notice when I left.  He’ll be having a snack soon.  Then lunch.  Then I’ll pick him up.  Only three hours today.  He was fine.  He walked right over to the shelf of cars and never looked back.  Tomorrow I’m gonna leave him for nap.  Maybe.  But definitely Friday.  I start work next week.  I don’t even want to talk about that.  We’ll see.  But I had to take what I could get.  If anything, I’ll do it until October when I can go back to Keeneland, and figure shit out from there.  God I feel terrible.  I can’t believe I just left him there.  He’s fine.  God, this sucks.



  1. Yep, I feel your pain. I cried so many days when I dropped my girls off at day care.

    It is hard not to feel guilty. But, he will be fine, he sees toys and other friends to play with, and thinks “man this is cool”.

    I went back to work when my girls were 7 weeks old. Talk about hard!!!! Leaving your infant with someone else!!! When you have been their life support for the last weeks.

    I dealt with it by looking at it like this…daycare or living under a bridge?? That would make me feel a little better.

    I’ll be thinking about you today. Hang in there. :-)

    • Thank you. I feel so lucky to have kept him home this long.

  2. Been there. That He’s Fine mantra is very important. Just keep chanting and all will be fine with you too.

  3. Yes, I would give my left arm to be able to have another baby and stay home with them. I feel like I missed so much during their first years.

    You are very lucky, and I am glad you had that time with your little guy.

  4. i wish you lived closer!

    thinking of you.

  5. Aww:(

  6. Oh sweetie, of course you’re upset. Hang in there. It’ll get easier.

  7. I remember my kids first days of schools. I did manage to get to the car before bursting into tears… They were fine, of course.

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