101 Things

Oh crap!  I didn’t realize that last post was my 100th!  I was going to do something special.  Oh, well.  Now you get an impossibly long list of “facts” about me. 

Welcome to the land of a thousand links.

1. I come from a family of 7 kids.
2. That’s 5 boys, 2 girls.
3. But really, two tom-boys.
4. My mom is crazy.
5. And a drunk.
6. My father is still my hero.
7. He introduced me to the beauty that is watching a summer thunderstorm from a porch swing.
8. He also introduced me to jazz and big band music.
9. Philip is my life partner.
10. I know that sounds gay, but it’s better than saying “live-in lover.”
11. Not that sounding gay is bad, I actually love me some gays.
12. I secretly want to get married, even though I say that I don’t.
13. I really just wanna get all dressed up and have everyone look at me.
14. Did I mention I’m the middle child?
15. We’ve been together for seven years.
16. He drives a motorcycle.
17. We have a son.
18. He is my world.
19. I didn’t want to name him Nathaniel, but it was the only name we could agree on.
20. I wanted to name him Charles Dominic, after my father and brother.
21. We waited till after he was born to tell everyone, because we couldn’t make a decision.
22. After 9 1/2 hours of labor and a c-section, I told Philip that I was naming the next boy Charles Dominic and he got no say in it.
23. He said, “We’ll see.”
24. Damn, I’m not even to 25, yet.
25. I am poor white trash.
26. From Kentucky.
27. Aside from the years I spent in Tennessee.
28. I am super loud and obnoxious. 
29. But only if I’m comfortable with you, and/or slightly drunk.
30. Santa never came to my house and I never got to go trick-or-treating.
31. To make up for this, I vowed to never grow up.
32. I am scared shitless of turning thirty.
33. I am super over-analytical.
34. I spent three and a half years getting a two year degree and have nothing to show for it but a piece of paper and a lot of debt.
35. I miss going to school.
36. my Mother-in-law= Marie Barron – the bitchiness.
37. I have a very checkered past.
38. The stories I tell here are PG 13.
39. If you know me for reals, I will tell you the NC17 ones.
40. The sound of a child’s laughter is the sweetest thing in the world. 
41. I waste a lot of time looking for 4-leafed clovers.
42. My favorite books are fairy tales.
43. And, grown-up fairy tales, like Confessions of An Ugly Step-Sister.
44. Garlic is my favorite flavor.
45. I think that’s a requirement when you’re Italian.
46. Girls in fuzzy boots and mini skirts make me want to ralph.
47. “His name is Raaaalph.”
48. Did I mention my checkered past?
49. Gawd, I’m not even to 50.
50. I hate wearing shoes.
51. I think my feet are claustrophobic. 
52. I can’t even cover them when I’m sleeping.
53. If we take a roadtrip together, my bare feet will surely be hanging out the passenger window with in minutes of getting on the highway.
54. I like bourbon.
55. Which is pretty obvious, considering the title of this here blog
56. I don’t say, “this here,” in real life.
57. I used to play the violin.
58. For 5 years.
59. I quit because the teacher was a bitch and would still be my teacher in high school.
60. If it hadn’t been for her, I’d still play.
61. I wish I hadn’t quit.
62. She wouldn’t let me play first chair because I couldn’t tune my own instrument.
63. Not because I couldn’t play, but because I am tone-deaf.
64. Philip banned me from singing lullabies.
65. He doesn’t realise that I still sing to Nate in the car.
66. In my head, I sound awesome.
67. I was in the drama club in high school.
68. I quit that because the teacher was a bitch, too.
69. Damn bitchy teachers.
70. I’m beginning to wonder if it was my bitchiness that was the problem.
71. I was born in 1980, but somehow have managed to stay 26.
72. I went to a special school 4th-6th grade, until we moved out of state.
73. No, not that kind of special, this kind.
74. My major was creative writing. 
75. My teacher was a children’s author.
76. And, kinda my idol.
77. A few years after we moved, she came to do a reading at my little brothers’ elementary school. 
78. My mother took me to see her, and she didn’t remember me.
79. It broke my heart.
80. I am a dork, in every sense of the word.
81. I tend to ramble.
82. So much so that I often forget my point.
83. But that is how you get the best stories.
84. I’m short.
85. Very short.
86. Like 3 inches too tall to be required to sit in a booster seat short.
87. Unless I’m wearing make-up and grown up clothes (i.e. something that did not come from the juniors department), people tend to think I’m a teenager.
88. I used to hate this, but now it’s awesome, just like everybody said it would be.
89. Did I mention I don’t wanna grow up?
90. I cuss.  A lot.
91. I worry that Nate will tell his teachers to fuck off.
92. And, that I’ll laugh.
93. I am not housewife material.
94. I don’t do well with a broom or frying pan.
95. Unless they’re used as a weapon, in which case I rock.
96. I used to paint.
97. It’s been 18 mos since I’ve painted anything.
98. Crazy, that’s exactly how old Nate is.
99. I talk.  A lot.
100. I cackle when I laugh.
101. Unless I’m snorting.

Alright, there ya go.  Are y’all still there?  Did you learn anything new?  Is there anything I left out that you’d like to know?